Hogwarts Idol
by hedwigmail
Summary: Austrailian Idol, American Idol, Canadian Idol... Whatever you’ve heard it called we all know it. And now it’s at Hogwarts! Just in time because Hermione’s finally breaking out of her shell...
1. Chapter I: The Announcement

**Hogwarts Idol**

**By: hedwigmail**

**A/N: This chapter was officially finished in the 19th of March, 2005. I'm writing this on my laptop, and I can't find the zip disk drive, which allows me to transfer my work. I have no idea how many days it will take for me to find it, and without it this stuff is stuck on my laptop. I might have to retype this onto my desktop (which I'm doing). And just so I don't seem really stupid, my laptop has a drive thing that you have to take out and switch between CD and zip, so it's not like it's already attached to my computer and I'm too stupid to look for it. Oh and my laptop doesn't have the internet.**

**Chapter I: A Notice**

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

Hermione walked through King's Cross with an unmistakable strut (A/N: That was the worst sentence I've ever written). This was it. It was her year. No more of having to please the parents. No more of having to have excellent top-of-the-class grades. She was Head Girl.

Hermione smirked. They're probably going to want to take my badge away.

_**Third Person:**_

She was different from the person everyone knew... and some loved (cough Ron cough). But Hermione didn't feel like she had changed into a different person. To her... it felt like she had changed _back_.

But to explain this we're going to have to take a trip back in time... Well, not really. Let's just recap her life. Before she was at Hogwarts.

Hermione was always little-miss-perfect. Miss Goody-Two Shoes. Right?

Wrong.

In fact Hermione was just the opposite.

She was a rebel. She was a prankster. She was the worst student in her grade. She got detentions. She got suspensions. She was expelled from 10 schools. She was BAD.

And her parents were disappointed. Beyond disappointed. They hated her. Well at least it seemed like they did to her. They fed her and gave her a home but she could tell that their love didn't go any further than parental love. They had nothing to love her for.

It seemed like Hermione was never going to change. Hermione was going to keep the bad grades and reputation.

That was until she got her letter from Hogwarts.

Then everything changed.

She swore to herself that she would be different. She'd make sure that she'd give her parents a reason to love her. In time, once they noticed her parents started to like her. They appreciated her. Maybe, even loved her.

But, it didn't feel right. Hermione was not being herself.

So she decided to change back to her old self in seventh year, when the burden of pleasing her parents was lifted.

She had to change back because she was deluding herself.

In seventh year just so happens to be the place where this story picks up.

Of course your thinking how different can Hermione be?

The answer? Very different. Extremely different.

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

I felt good as I walked through the station. Good as in hot (A/N: Okay I'm a girl so I don't really think of Hermione as "hot" and so It might not sound so great. Just use your imagination).

I have make-up on. For the first time while actually doing something Hogwarts related. Earlier that morning I had smeared dark red lip stick across my lips. My red blush made my cheeks stand out more. For the effect, to show I am a part of Gryfindor and so people might know who I am was, my eye shadow is gold (A/N: Get it? Gryfindor colors? Oh well, I tried).

That summer I had streaked my hair blonde, red and pink. The brown hair was straight and the streaks are curled. I haven't even started on the clothes.

That morning I had a hard time trying to find the right outfit. I needed some thing that fit, didn't look like what I usually wore at Hogwarts and outfit that made me look great. This might be hard to imagine, Hermione Granger having trouble with anything, especially clothes because I would always grab the first thing on the top of the pile. Just remember this is not the old Hermione Granger. Oh and try not to gasp.

I had decided on a tube top (A/N: You know like strapless, sleeveless tee-shirt. A long one not a really tiny one, though.) and jeans. Doesn't sound so astonishing yet? Okay I'll do it infomercial style: But wait. There's still more! The tube top was red (wait for it...) and stopped about three and a half inches from my waist. (Too much suspense for something so little right?) The shirt was tight and had horizontal slits down the sides.

My faded jeans were form fitting (A/N: Can pants be form fitting?) until they belled out below my knees. They had the same style slits on them. The belt I had chosen was black and studded.

I wore black stilettos and I walked extremely casually in them for a girl who hadn't worn high-heels since she was 11.

Guys I had never seen were gaping open-mouthed as I walked past them. It was a definite change from my years at Hogwarts when I had nearly been shunned for not acting "girlish enough." Whatever that is.

I casually leaned against the barrier dividing Platforms 9 and 10, all the while supporting myself so I didn't fall down. But I couldn't find the right time to fall through. Every time someone walked in front of me The guys that were STILL staring

at me would lean to one side to continue looking and then lean to the other once everyone had passed so they were almost always looking at me. They must be obsessed.

After about five minutes I just got tired of waiting so she leaned through the barrier even though twenty-some boys were watching me.

(A/N: Sometimes in this story I'm gonna type "Que theme music." In this case that music is "I Wanna Be Bad" by Britney Spears. Just keep that in mind, okay? Oh and I don't like Britney just figured it would work well for this part.)

I strode through the crowd by the Hogwarts Express separating them instantly. I realized that no one knew who I was. I was just some new pretty girl. So I decided to have a new first impression. I did a triple-slow-motion-hair-flip.

**Que Theme Music**

It was amazing. Even my closest friends stood off to the side, gaping. They, of all people didn't recognize me. Not to be mean, but that is just wrong!

All of a sudden two girls that I slightly recognized were blocking my way. Pavarti and Lavender. Apparently they had chosen this year to make some changes too. Instead of the tight skirts and t-shirts they usually wore they wore mini skirts so small that it was hard to understand that they were even there for a reason. They also wore tube tops that barely covered anything at all. Their flavors of the month (or as they call them "boyfriends") were also standing off to the side open mouthed.

**End Theme Music With Record Mess Up or Whatever You Call It**

Well, leave it to them to rain on my parade.

They grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side, much to the apparent disappointment of all the boys. Sorry, boys it's not my fault blame it on these... girls... yeah, whatever.

"So what the hell is your name?" Lavender nearly spat on me.

So... they didn't recognize me either. Not that they would. I didn't spend that much time with them, but you'd think that after sleeping in the same room, getting dressed in the same room and pretty much living with each other for six years that they might just recognize me. Well, I guess not.

"What if I don't want to answer that?" I quickly responded.

"Well that's not important." Parvarti plowed on.

Well I guess they don't recognize my voice either. See I would have had to try so much harder if this were Harry and Ron. These two are just plain slow. Their brains only function by looks. It's the same way when they think about boys. The can be mean, rude, and fail every class in the world but as long as they look good these two are fine with them. Heck they'd probably be able to abuse them (physically) and they'd walk away saying something like "He's so dreamy..."

"The only thing that matters is that you stay away from our boyfriends." Lavender continued.

Of course they were jealous. At least I still had some self respect.

Well, the real Hermione Granger always has the last word. In this case it was a cruddy one, but hey what can you do. "You're in no position to be threatening someone superior to you."

"How are you superior to us?" they both wondered out loud. It's like these two share a brain. Actually it would have to be a very small, make-up obsessed brain, if they even have one.

"Well you'll find out sooner or later a.k.a. tonight at dinner, but I always have been and always will be your superior." and with that I turned on my heel and strutted towards the train. Apparently the rest of the school had been watching, and considering the uproar that came from behind me as I walked away they were pretty happy that the "New Girl" had almost completely ruined Parvarti's and Lavender's reputations. Well who wouldn't be? Remember that was a rhetorical question.

Even though I'm not the old Hermione I don't like to be late... I can never wait to start the mayhem. I really have to go to the heads' meeting... I wonder who the new Head Boy is going to be. I hope he's hot... not like I care. Aw, who am I kidding?

I stepped onto the train and started striding across the velvety carpet below my feet making my way to the front of the train, where the Heads' compartment was located. Every body who wasn't standing outside of the train the first time I walked by poked their heads out of their compartments and just stared. Why do I always have this effect on people? Don't worry I already know.

When I finally got to the Heads' Compartment I slid the door open to find a really hot guy sitting there.

Extremely hot.

So hot I think I might be sweating.

So hot... well you get the picture.

So I got my wish. He was hot.

But...

He can't be the right guy.

I mean he's completely off-limits.

I mean he's him.

I mean he's _Malfoy._

Well at least I have something to look at.

He looked up. At least he's not wearing make-up or anything... that would be freaky! He's looking at me. Wait is he checking me out? Woow now he's scaring me.

"Excuse me, but this is the _Heads Compartment._" he said in a suave voice.

You know not being known as a muggleborn really makes a big difference around here. Plus, it gives him a personality change... I like it. What? Wait a minute. Am I calling Draco Malofy hot? Am I saying that I like him? Oh Hermione what is wrong with you.

"Yes I know." I replied in a sweet voice to mask that it was really me. It feels like Halloween again!

Draco... no, no I mean Malfoy. What is wrong with me? Okay, okay. Malfoy raised an eyebrow, "So why are you here? Only the Head Boy, me and Girl, whoever she is are supposed to be here. "

He looks so handsome when he's confused. Wait. No. I didn't just think that. Pull yourself together Hermione! Well at least it's true Oh just forget it. Right now I have to think of something to say.

"Oh, but I am the Head Girl," I replied. Now I know I lost him.

"Oh... Well, I'm sorry but I don't believe I caught your name..."

Oh great now he's probably going to ask for my phone number, too. Just kidding. Wouldn't that be bizarre? He probably doesn't even know what a phone is. If that ever happened he'd start asking me about my email address, screen name and pen name **(A/N: hehe!)**.

"But you already know it." It's a good thing I'm not wearing my Gryfindor robes. It would be a dead giveaway, and this game is so much fun.

"Pansy!" He almost yelled looking disgusted at the idea of his ex-girlfriend.

"Ew! Bloody hell no!" That girl is worse Parvarti and Lavender put together. Well maybe not put together but you get the idea.

He visibly relaxed, then looked puzzled "Then who are you?"

"You'll just have to wait."

"I hate waiting."

"Get used to disappointment."

"Okay."

**(A/N: Yey! Some quotes from one of my favorite movies "The Princess Bride." Sorry I started writing "Then who are you?" and that just popped into my head.)**

At that moment the compartment door opened to reveal Professor Magonnagall **(A/N: Sorry about spelling)**. She did a quick glance around the room to make sure all two people were here and found herself a seat. She then started her speech.

"You two have been excellent students these past six years, possibly the best Hogwarts has ever seen. For this you will be awarded with some new privileges. You will get a brand new common room and heads quarters, with a personal kitchen. You will be able to go to Hogsmead without it being a scheduled trip. Though this brings many privileges it also has its responsibilities. You will have rounds on assigned corridors in assigned places at assigned times with assigned partners. You not only have to attend the prefects' meetings, you will be in charge of them. You do not have to plan the meetings, but you will be given the information you will have to cover when you get there. The major things you will be in charge of this year are the following: the Halloween Ball, the Christmas Ball, the New Year's Ball, the Valentine's Ball, the End of Year Ball, the Cico De Mayo Ball and the fourth of July Ball."

"We're not going to be here for the fourth of July." Draco commented ignorantly.

"Well, actually we don't even celebrate the fourth of July or Cico De Mayo. We're in England." Well I had to say something, Draco was right seriously that's the wrong country and wrong month.

Professor Magonnagall turned around to face me and she looked at me. Really looked at me. Apparently she hadn't really looked at me closely before. Or at least not closely enough to notice the differences. Now she gapes. Well I'm thankful she didn't say our names. Then we'd have a screaming Draco... I mean Malfoy. Oh what's the difference?

Anyways back to Magonnagall. She's still gaping for words. I have a feeling that if I left a cardboard cut-out of me and just left for a day or so she would still be gaping.

**Que Jepordy Theme Music **

Yeah this is taking a while. Will she ever get over it?

**Jepordy Theme Music Ends **

She's still gaping. This is taking longer than I thought. So I look a bit different. is it really that much to gawk at? Well apparently it is as Magonnagall is the first person I have met who knows who I am and is still staring at me. I think Malfoy's even more confused. If she thinks this is that horrible then she should see Parvarti and Lavender. Light bulb!

Well this should be easy, I mean let's think about it. She's still gaping which should definitely give me enough time to get her out the door and into the compartment... if I find them. Oh that will be easy too. Just follow the trail of make-up.

While she's STILL staring at me I grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the compartment. Then we slowly started down the hall.

Thump! Oh that's going to leave a mark... on me. Apparently we left the station already, as I was just flung forwards into a luggage rack by the train. Ow. Well lets find those sluts... I mean Gryfindor Girls.

Slurp. Could that be them, or is Ron having an early snack?

I leaned forward and opened the compartment door with Magonnagall at my side (She's still staring!). So, it's not Ron. It's Parvarti and Lavender having a make-out session with their "boyfriends." Just great. I didn't need to see that.

Well at least Maggonnagall has something to yell about. This means I can leave, but where to go? Back to the Heads' compartment! Why? Because my friends don't recognize me and there's a cute SINGLE guy sitting in there, that doesn't know who I am. Not that that last one matters.

So I kind of, sort of, not really slowly made my way back to the Heads' compartment. Okay so I was running. I mean there's a screaming Maggonnagall behind me. Would anyone in their right mind walk? Didn't buy that excuse? Didn't think you would, but a girl can hope, can't she? Better excuse: There's I hot guy waiting in the Heads' Compartment! But you didn't hear it from me.

So I kept running back to Draco. Did I mention how hot he got over the summer? I'm obsessing now aren't I? I knew this would happen.

I finally reached the compartment and stepped inside. Good he's still here. Not that he'd go anywhere.

"Why did you leave so quickly?" Draco asked in the the same suave voice. God, he's so dreamy!

"Aw, did you miss me?"

"Um... Well... Uhh... What was your name again?"

At that second the door slammed open and in stepped my two so-called best friends in the world. The only major problem with them is that they don't recognize me!

They stopped at the sight of me. They seemed shocked to find out I was in their year! Wait til they catch on that I'm in their house!

"Oh I'm sorry I don't believe we've met," said Ron imitating Draco's suave voice without knowing it. I glanced at Draco... no I mean Malfoy and saw him shooting daggers at Ron. But neither Ron or Harry seemed to notice. They were too transfixed by... well I guess me! "My name's Ron Weasley," he continued awkwardly shaking my hand. This is why he's never had a girlfriend. He has absolutely no emotion.

Then Harry stepped in. "And I'm Harry Potter," he said in a more suave voice than Ron and Draco put together. Harry took my hand and didn't give it a flimsy shake like Ron. Oh no, Harry kissed it.

Now both Ron and Draco were staring daggers at Harry and again he chose not to notice. These guys are really confusing me. Doesn't Harry have a girlfriend? Oh, well I guess she's out of the picture.

"What is your name?" asked Harry.

Crap. Name, name, name. God why didn't I think of a name!

Do I have a nickname they don't know about? Hm... I don't think so.

"Mia," I said trying to sound calm. Mia was what my muggle friends used to call me. I mean Hermione is so uncommon, and so hard to pronounce. Just look at how Krum says it. In case you don't remember it was Her-my-own-ninny. Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. I dumped Victor a long time ago. I mean long distance relationships don't work. Plus he was a professional Quidditch player and god knows how many girls he meets doing that. Super-models probably.

"That's a beautiful name." Harry said in that suave voice with a very strange smile. Now I remember why I don't like being around when Harry's talking to girls. It's sickening. Calm down Mione. Try not to vomit all over him. Not very pleasant image is it?

"Thank you," I replied smiling. This is really hard trying to disguise your voice. They'd recognize it instantly. They've heard me nagging them enough times to register it. That sucks. Do they have to live up to their parents? No. What about me? Yes. I could call this sexual prejudice, but even if I was a boy it would be the same.

Ron elbowed Harry sharply in the ribs. Harry, who was still gazing at me, jumped as if he just remembered something.

Harry actually (finally, more like) started to stutter, so Ron took over. He's much better at trying to talk to girls without trying to seduce them all the time.

"We were wondering if you've seen our friend Hermione Granger. She has thick brown bushy hair, brown eyes and is about yay tall." Ron said putting his hand to about halfway down his neck. Since when did Ron use words like "yay?"

"Have you seen her?" Harry asked.

Well at least their making an effort. Just not a very big one. If they were they'd stop flirting with me for just enough time to realize who I am.

"Oh, no. Sorry, I haven't." Well It's the truth. Technically I haven't seen myself since I looked in the mirror this morning.

"What are Potty and Weasel worried about their girlfriend?" Draco finally piped up.

"No." Ow, that hurts. "She's not his girlfriend... yet." That is, if possible, worse. How could Harry say such a thing?

Then, of course, Ron turns beet red and starts mumbling about how we "shouldn't talk about her like that" and how I'm "never going to date him," as he always does in these situations. Even though I haven't been here for most of these situations... at least I've heard about them. You see, Ron makes a point of trying to hide things from me, although he doesn't do it very well. Take for example the time that he... oh I'm rambling now.

Back to Ron.

Thank you Ron for semi-standing up for me and if you say it louder next time I might just think about it.

"Well, now that you know that your perfect Granger isn't here, can you leave?" Draco droned after an akward silence.

"Why should we, Malfoy?" Harry retaliated. There foes his temper again. I would grab the back of his robes to stop him from punching anyone, if not for two good reasons:

#1. It would seem very strange for the "New Girl" to be restraining anyone from hitting anyone.

And...

#2. I want to see how this turns out.

So, instead of grabbing Harry's robes, I just relaxed and watched. Next problem: Who should I root for? Harry and Ron, the best friends who don't recognise me; or Draco, the hot Slytherin (damn! no not hot!) who doesn't know me enough to recognise me. Hm... tough one.

"I'll give you one good reason why..." said Draco, while reaching for his wand. Oh, tough guy. I like tough guys... I mean, STOP! Hermione, get a grip on reality!

Ron stepped in between the guys, his back to me, while Draco and Harry looked like they wanted to rip each other's head off. It's quite nice to have two wizards fighting over me... not that I like it or anything.

Ron pulled them down in sort of a huddle, yet I could still hear their "whispers."

"Guys, she's watching," Ron said, nudging his head towards, "Just act cool and we'll all look good."

Yeah, some huddle. Ron should never go into American Football.

Turning away from the "huddle," Ron says to me in a suave voice, "So, _Mia_, maybe I can show you around the castle sometime..."

Ew. I'd rather vomit (over and over again) than spend time with Ron and his disgustingly suave voice. I mean, it's fine hanging out with him and Harry when they're just my friends who happen to be guys. But, when they're trying to impress a girl, I can swear they're schizophrenic.

"Uh... sure, I'll think about it." Aw, that made Ron smile.

Now Harry, following Ron's example walks up to me and says, " We can talk more later. I'll see you at dinner. Come and sit at the Gryffindor table." At the word Gryffindor I could hear Malfoy (yeah I got it right this time!) let out a small chuckle.

"Uh... sure." I said with a slight hint of sarcasm. Why not? I'

m already going to be there.

With that Harry and Ron turned and walked out of the compartment. I heard Malfoy clear his throat, so i shifted my head in his direction.

"So, your name is Mia..."

I spent nearly three quarters of the reast of the ride in the compartment with him; flirting, talking, checking my email, updating my xanga and writing stories about The Lord of the Rings on I somehow managed to convince him that the laptop and sidekick **(A/N: the elctrical kind, for instant messaging. God, Hermione's Rich!)** was really a wizarding way of communicationm faster than floo powder and more portable.

After that, I went off in search of an empty compartment so I could change into my robes and to read... magazines; preferably Teen People, but never, ever, ever, ever National Geographic.

The train soon slowed to a stop and I exited, almost completely alone me because, once again, everyone who hadn't already seen me, stopped and stared. Get over it, will you?

After I exited the train, I stalled, hoping to make a big entrance into the Great Hall. After almost everyone else had gone up to the school, I took one of the last carriages up to the school. I was lucky enough to get an empty one, which means no more stupid questions like "Who are you?" I mean how thick can a person get? It's one thing not to recognise someone, but a whole other matter when you tell them to their face. I mean, how rude is that?

Anyway, the ride in the spooky horse-less thestral drawn carriage. Did I mention how spooky that is? I mean think about it. You have a horse-less carriage (not a car, which would be much better) that still runs. If that wasn't creepy enough, let's add the fact that it's not really horse-less, because it has the demented thestrals that only people who have seen someone die can see. Doesn't that just brighten up the idea of coming back to school?

So I leave the discomobulated carriage and enter the the deserted Entrance Hall. Literally deserted. Not a soul in sight. But I could hear people, so I just followed the loud converse into the Great Hall.

For the first time that day, hardly anyone even turned around and staredd, because, by now, they were used to my big entrances. Only the teahcers wondered who the hell I was.

I not-so-quietly took a seat at the Gryffindor table and watched Harry try to motion for me to move down to the empty seat he. I shook my head politely (yeah right... politely) and brushed it off as I stole a glance around the Hall. I caught Malfoy staring at me almost constantly.

I turned my head to watch Dumbledore stand up to make his short pre-feast announcement.

"I'm sorry to keep your tummies rumbling, but we have some very pressing matters on hand."

So much for short.

Dumbledore continued, "I have finally found the perfect way of uniting Hogwarts as one," this is going to be good. There is no possible way in Hell we could be united.

"We will be having a Hogwarts Idol in our school. This idea came from the muggle world where many countries have national compeititions to determine who the best singer in the country is every year. Some examples you may have heard of are American Idol, Austrailian Idol, Pop Idol, and so on and so forth. The only difference here is that everyone who is 14 or above must audition or write a essay that is approximately 10 rolls of parchment on why they didn't compete." At that last comment one third of the older students looked excited, one third looked confused and the last third was enraged. In the enraged section was Ron. If looks could kill, the one Ron was giving Dumbledore would have shot him five times, broken his neck, cremated him, mummified the remains and buried him six feet under, just to start the process all over again.

"My other announcement is a much more urgent and pressing matter. It's the matter of your new head boy and girl. It seems only professor Mcgonagall has seen our new head girl, Miss Granger." I looked across the hall to see Draco gaping, wide-mouthed at me. I smiled and slowly nodded my head.

"Let's at least make sure she's in the hall," by now Harry and Ron were looking urgently up and down the table, "We can start with the head boy. Mr. Malfoy will you please stand up?"

Draco stood so that everyone could see him. He was having a bit of trouble getting the expression of shock off of his face, though.

"Good, good. Mr. Malfoy is here. Will Miss Granger please stand up, if she is in the room?"

Everyone moved their slowly eyes across the room, looking for me. After everyone had looked everywhere, in a 360 degree circle, I took a deep breath, smiled, and stood up. These people were going to get the surprise of their lives.

The hall went deadly silent.

Then there was one single, crystal clear voice that was, to me, completely recognizable. It stated what everyone must have been thinking.

"WHAT!"

**A/N: Wow! That was 4384 words! Don't ever expect me to do that again! Not for one chapter at least! Anyways, the next chapter might take a while... so send in some song ideas for auditions, to get the thoughts moving. Also please say who you really want to see audition! Gryffindor's first! While you're waiting for me to update, read my other stories! Some of them are pretty good. The next story I'm gonna Update is Summer Vacation, then Shibby and the Shibby Shibbiers, after that Muggle Life Or Not? and finally this one. so review and I'll update faster.**

**Oh and one last thing which song is better:**

**I'd Do Anything by Simple Plan**

**Addicted by Simple Plan**

**OR**

**Gotta Get Though This by Daniel Beddingfield**


	2. Chapter II: A Long And Boring Test

**Hogwarts Idol**

**By: hedwigmail**

A/N: Hi everybody! I'm so sorry this took so long! More A/N at the end of the chapter!

**Chapter II: A Very Long Dinner In the Great Hall**

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

There was a loud uproar once everyone had gotten over the initial shock of the situation (yes I still know some big words! Just because I look and act different doesn't mean I'm stupid). That whole "getting over it" part seemed to take a long time, as it always seems to do in these situations… It took about half an hour to 45 minutes, but hey, whose counting?

"You can not be Hermione!" said the same person who had just spoken… Ron.

"And why can't I be me?" I asked in the same high voice I used on the train. I might as well keep that up until they question it just to confuse them even more. They look so cute when they're confused… little toddler cute, not boyfriend/girlfriend cute. Can you imagine me with either of them? That would be CREEPY! And what would the other one say… say I'm dating Harry 'We're going to the Three Broomsticks, wanna come?' 'No thanks, I'll give you guys some' using air quotes 'Alone time.' God, Ron would be killed, resurrected, incinerated and killed again by every boy (and possibly some girls, if I have my way) in Gryffindor tower that night! Okay, how'd I get from talking about my identity to Ron's death? Stay on topic, Hermione! Gosh, so hard to focus when you have my attention span **(A/N: Hehe she has an attention span like mi... Oh, SHINY!)!**

"Okay, now we know that you're definitely not Hermione!" said Harry.

"Huh?"

"You have that vacant look in your eyes that Ron gets when Hermione mentions homework!"

"Hey I never look vacant!"

"Ron no offense, but you've gotta cope… you always look vacant." I replied.

"That's not fair. Hermione was never mean!" Ron whimpered.

Hey, did Ron just sound like a toddler?

"Yeah, well this is the new and improved Hermione here!" I replied.

"I don't think it's much of an improvement."

"Okay back to topic. You can't be Hermione!" Harry recapped.

"Oh, yeah. Why not?"

"You look nothing like her!"

"Yeah, well… looks can change!"

"She's right, Harry. I remember this one during summer vacation, Ginny had some friends over, and they were putting on make-up and…"

"Save it, Ron. We're kind of in the middle of a conversation."

That did it. Harry and Ron are now totally convinced that I'm not me. You see we always listened to (or are forced to listen to, take you're pick) Ron's stupid stories that some how ended up relating to the subject using one word. They usually started with "One time," and there might have been an occasional "at band camp" in there **(A/N: for those of you who just got that, yay for you. If not, it's something from American Pie (the movie)** and they almost always ended with something along the lines of "and I was like 'wow'!"

"Well, you don't sound or act anything like Hermione." Ron said whiningly.

I cleared my throat, swallowed and answered in my normal voice, "Now do I sound like me?"

Harry and Ron's jaws dropped simultaneously. Draco walked up behind them and "whispered" (I use the air quotes because it sounded something like the voice Ron used on the train, and could be heard throughout the whole hall), "Just to fill you in, it does sound like her."

"We know what our best friend sounds like, okay Malfoy! So shove it!" Harry said annoyingly.

"Harry," Ron said, "We'll have to give her THE TEST."

"Woah, woah woah. Hold it. You guys made a test for this situation? I take back everything I said before… you guys are finally prepared for something…"

Harry was the first to reply, "Huh… Oh yeah that's right! Aha! You were wrong about something." Harry smiled to himself before "discreetly" (ha… discreetly, that's a laugh… how can you be discreet when you're a world famous celebrity?) leaning over and "whispering" in Ron's ear, "What test?"

Okay, so maybe I gave them a little too much credit a little too soon...

"You know like we ask her questions that only Hermione would know," replied Ron.

And maybe not...

"What kind of questions?"

And maybe I did...

"You know... hard ones."

And maybe not...

"Like what?"

And may... you know what? My attention span can't take much more of this...

"I don't know... like; what's the name of Hermione's cat?"

La la la la...

"No that's too easy..."

If I was a rich girl; na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na...

"Okay; how about our middle names?"

Hey-ey-ey-ey Ya! Hey Ya!

"That's too easy... we're both named after our fathers..."

Springstein, Madonna, Way before Nirvanna; There was U2 and Blondie, And music still on MTV...

"Okay... how about the first thing Hermione ever said to us?" Ron whispered.

I walk this empty street on the boulavard of broken dreams...

"You mean the speech?" Harry asked in the same whisper.

This love has taken it's toll on me. She said good bye too many times before...

"Yeah the full speech."

Stacy's mom has got it goning on...

"Sure, that's a great question!"

Hey look... a squirrel!

"Okay!" Ron yelled, "We've come up with our question."

Pretty squirrelly... huh?

"Oh... okay," I said, "Shoot."

At my last word, Harry and Ron gave me that funny expression of surprise... you know the cute-but-not-like-that look...

"Okay... anyways; What was the first thing you ever said to us?"

"What! Oh that... 'Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one...'" At this Neville blushed and sunk under the table... Oops...

"After that..."

"How much further after that?"

"Until we tell you to stop..."

"Okay so then I said 'Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it then...' And then Ron said 'Sunshine, Daisies, something about butter, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.'

"And then I said 'Are you sure that's a real spell? Well it's not very good is it? I've tried a few simple spells for practic,e and they've all worked for me. No one in my family is magic at all. I was ever so surprised when I got the letter but ever so pleased, of course. I mean it is the best school of magic there is I've heard. I've learned all our course books by heart, I just hope it will be enough. I'm Hermione Granger by the way. Who are you?'

"Then Ron said, 'I'm Ron Weasley,' then you said 'Harry Potter.' And I said 'Are you really? Well I know all about you of cour-'"

"Okay, that's enough," Harry finally said, after he got over the state of shock he had been in since the first sentence, "We get the picture... You _might _be Hermione..."

Oh, you've got to be kidding me...

"Might? Waddaya mean, 'might'? I just recited the full speech of the first thing I ever said to you..." I exploded. How couldn't I be Hermione now? So I look a little different and I act a bit more like your average teenager... but, come on, Isn't it obvious now?

"Well you could be Neville in disguise..." Ron finally said.

"Why would Neville want to dress up as a girl, and even more particularly, why would he choose me," I screamed. Then I stopped took a second to breathe and then said, "Plus, He's right there..."

They were about to retaliate when they stopped then turned in the direction I was pointing. They stared at Neville, and Neville stared back at them with a look that said, 'What the heck are you guys on?'

Hm, good question Neville... I might have to go through their trunks on a drug raid soon, because they've got to be high on something.

"Okay, you know what?" I said loudly, drawing their attention back to me, "Just so we can get this over with I'm just gonna do a few spells to make me look like you thought I was going to look..."

I pulled my wand out of my robes and pointed it at myself, "Rectos Crispus, Recto Visio, Teneo quislibeto induviao." I swished my wand at my hair, face and clothes in turn. Instantly my hair turned it's usual light brown, my tube top and slitted jeans became a simple white blouse and Red and Gold checkered skirt and my face was void of any makeup (void... hehe that's a funny word...).

Hey did you ever notice how long it takes for Ron to close his mouth after he's surprised? I mean Harry got over it in 15 minutes flat, half of the Great Hall got it down to 20 minutes and the other half finished up round the 30 minute mark. But, for some reason it seemed like Draco and Ron were conpeting for the record.

Okay, Ron's was understandable, as he was probably really confused as how Hermione could have turned into _that _girl that he saw on the train.

But What was up with Draco?

_**Third Person:**_

What Hermione was missing was, well input on the average teenage boys brain **(A/N: Just Kidding bout that... hehe sorry if you a boy)**. Draco's thought process at the moment was something along the lines of 'how did _that _girl turn into Mudblood Granger by taking off some makeup, changing clothes and using a different hair style?'

And then his mind skipped to 'PUT THE MAKEUP BACK ON! Looking at Granger burns my eyes!'

**A/N: So how was that? I know it was really short and that you had to wait a while for this chapter... so I'm sorry... :.-.(but that was... um 1587 words... about a quarter of the last chapter... any ways here are is the review feedback... OK last thing, I need a name for the review feedback so when you leave the review put that in... I'll call it something different each time!**

**Review Feedback:**

**alBBie: Thanks! I kind of knew she didn't originate it, But I'm pretty sure she did a remake of it... if not, Oh well... THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!**

**Kiara Ralkin: HI... So I did write more and OF COURSE I'LL BETA FOR YOU! See you soon!**

**Melanthe Vida: I thought it would be awesome just to do a Hogwarts Idol so I did it... With some help from Kiara Ralkin. Thanks For Reviewing!**

**BlackFairy76: Yes! One more vote for my song! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Caboodle: Well I wrote more... I hope this satisfies you! Thanks so much!**

**Adriane1: Thanx for reviewing! I love your stories! Sorry but Hermione won't audition with an Avril song, but to make up for it there will be loads of Avril songs later!**

**The Gryffindor Drummer: Thanks for suggesting those songs! I'll definately throw them in somewhere! Thanks so much! For reviewing and the compliment!**

**Hopeforthefuture: Oh don't worry they will... (laughs crazily) thanx for thinking my story was THAT funny! Talk to you soon! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Michelle Felton: I hop this make you happy! I'm so happy that you like the story! Thanks for reviewing!**

**A League of their Own Fan: As a matter of fact I am doing duets... Thanks for reviewing!**

**GothicXHermione: OMG! Thank you so much! You were the first reviewer for this and so far the most complimenting! Thank you so much! I hope this makes you happy and lives up to your expectations... !**

**NOTE TO EVERYBODY: I try to read everybody's stories! If I forgot to read yours, include it in your review!**


	3. Chapter III: The Heads' Commons

**Hogwarts Idol**

**By: hedwigmail**

**A/N: Okay I am starting to write this chapter the day after I have posted the 2nd chapter... less than a day after it. And so far, I have a total of 14 reviews! You didn't get it? 14 reviews less than 24 hours after I have posted the chapter and every one of them said how much they liked the story! I love this website! Not really... ok I _like _the website and I love my reviewers (but don't worry it's an open relationship, you can date other people!) Anyway, I'm gonna get to writing the next chapter now! Thank You so much you guys! You've got me so pumped and hyper!**

**Previously on HI:**

Okay, Ron's was understandable, as he was probably really confused as how Hermione could have turned into _that _girl that he saw on the train.

But What was up with Draco?

_**Third Person:**_

What Hermione was missing was, well input on the average teenage boy's brain **(A/N: Just Kidding bout that... hehe sorry if you a boy)**. Draco's thought process at the moment was something along the lines of 'how did _that _girl turn into Mudblood Granger by taking off some makeup, changing clothes and using a different hair style?'

And then his mind skipped to 'PUT THE MAKEUP BACK ON! Looking at Granger burns my eyes!'

**Chapter III: The Heads' Commons**

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

After the second tidal wave of uproar and shock; which took another half hour (merlin, why am I timing this?); I undid the spells and sat down across the table from Harry and Ron.

"So... what's new?" I asked them.

"Um... you mean other than you looking like a hooker?" Harry asked.

"Hey... I resent that..." I replied. Ow. That was uncalled for...

"Okay, just kidding... so when did _this_ happen?"

"Oh, you know tired of my parents, tired of school... and tired of _me_. The stereotypical _me_." Wait. Someone's hand is on my leg... ok this is wrong. Here are the people around me: Seamus, Neville, Harry, Ron and Ginny. This is starting to get a little weird...

"May I have everyone's attention once more?" Professor Dumbledore announced. "It is now time for the sorting to begin."

Filch brought in the three legged stool and Professer McGonnagall walked between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table up to the front of the hall and stopped short of the teacher's table.

Wow. Okay that scared me. The Sorting hat wasn't there and then it was like "pop" and it was there. Ok is this ironic or what?A witch (moi) scared of magic. Sounds like something from scary movie, huh? Or maybe Not Another Teen Movie... **(A/N: No? Oh, Well I tried.)**

Then the Sorting Hat ripped himself a new one... mouth, that is. And started his song.

"_When I was just a simple hat,_

_And there were no school founders._

_I lived up on the shelf,_

_In a store called Olivanders."_

Okay that's just plain weird. I knew that guy was old but _that_ old? That was in, like, the stone age! Did they even have the wheel then?

"_Then one day the owner pulled me down,_

_And gave me to a man._

_He told him to use me wisely,_

_And to do the best he can."_

I think the sorting hat is slacking now. Since when did it have such minimal creativity that we let it get by with a rhyme like man and can. A preschooler could do that. No, wait. Worse. _Ron_ could do that.

"Wow, that hat gets better every year..." Ron whispered.

So Ron's _really_ easily impressed.

"_But back I went on a shelf,_

_For another 20 years._

_Until one day I was taken down,_

_By Gryffindor and his peers."_

Now it's stepping up to the plate. Telling us something we already knew! It was Gryffindor's idea! Wow, does it get any better... note the sarcasm.

"_They threw some brains in me,_

_And told me how to score._

_Then they left me with the kids,_

_So I could learn some more."_

Whoa. Is it just me or did the sorting hat just say "And told me how to _score_." That is wrong. The little perv... Oh, now I get it... But still the part about the kids... Gross... Michael Jackson in training **(A/N: Sorry if you think MJ is innocent... but it's just about the only analogy that works right now so, sorry!)**

"_That was when I found out,_

_The terrible, sad truth._

_The houses were strongly devided,_

_And it was spoiling their youth."_

Well it backed itself into a corner there. Because there's just a truckload of things that rhyme with 'truth'.

Okay so there probably are but I don't really care enough to think about it.

"_Throughout the group of Gryffindor's,_

_They were all happy and brave._

_But when it came to those Slytherins,_

_They could never behave."_

Behave like how? Like, 'oh, those Slytherins are super hott'? Or like 'Those Slytherin's seriously piss me off. Walking around like their the kings of the damn world...' Probably the first one, based on expierience. No BAD MIA!

"_All those happy Hufflepuffs,_

_Hardly ever got in a fight._

_And even when they're overshadowed,_

_They work with all their might."_

You know, I'm probably the only one thinking during this whole song. Every one elses brain's on free time when they can be imagining who they want to date this year or in Lavendar and Parvarti's case, who they're gonna date today.

Well I guess now would be a good time to see what my brain's been up to lately.

"_That crowd of rowdy Ravenclaws,_

_Always smart and quiet._

_But they got a temper when,_

_a another smart student's grades became a hit."_

Wow, it's empty in here. Echo! Echo... echo... echo... echo... Okay I get the point... echo... echo... echo... So it's a bit empty, stop it... echo... echo... echo... SHUT UP!

There I got it.

Echo.

Ah! What the hell!

"_But that batch of sly Slytherins,_

_They took the cake._

_They could make the bravest student's,_

_Knees begin to shake."_

Aha! There's my brain.

That's strange I don't remember it being a peanut... Then again when was the last time I was up here? Last year? Oh, well things happen over a summer.

"_I decided then that this must change,_

_And though it hasn't yet._

_I pray that this year,_

_It will seem like you have just met."_

There's the thought section.

Okay, SORTING TIME!

Junk, junk, junk, junk, Bill, junk, junk, Bill, junk, junk, Bill... hm... why have I been thinking about Ron's brother so much? Oh, yeah that's why... he's hot.

Back to sorting.

Junk, junk, school, junk, junk, Ron talking to me A.K.A. junk, junk, junk, Draco Malfoy, junk, junk, spam, hott Slytherin god and junk.

Wow, that was pretty simple... but for some reason it reminded me of mail...

"_So keep in mind through this year,_

_While you study and play._

_That the future of this world,_

_Rests in you hands, so cease the day!"_

The hall was silent as though it couldn't believe that _that _was the new song.

"_Aw, you guys SUCK!" _ yelled the sorting hat, and it became motionless.

_That_ made the hall applaude for it.

You know what? I think I gave this hat a little less credit than it deserved. Sure it's a stupid, beat up, raggedy, illiterate, dumb, retarded piece of shit but... you know what? I've changed my mind. Maybe I gave it too much credit.

The teacher's all looked rather shocked, except for the new/old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, as the Teacher was Reamus Lupin and he had used far worse language in his day.

Professor McGonnagall regained her composure and stepped up to the front of the hall.

"Okay," McGonnagall said to the excited little munchkins that the school calls first years.

God, they're short. I'm sure I was never _that_ short. How do I know? I distinctly remember reaching up and putting a hat on the top of my head and their little arms would never be able to reach up there.

**(A/N: lol. A little exert from the Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie. Go see it if you haven't already. It's so cute! I've seen it twice. Now, back to the story.)**

"Adams, Elizabeth," McGonnagall announced.

"Freely, Ineida Paula."

I leaned across the table. "Did you guys hear that?" I asked.

"Huh?" Ron replied.

"That girls intials are I. P. Freely."

"Oh my god!" Ginny said.

Harry and Ron silmultaneously snorted. Weird.

"Hertz, Dick."

"Dick Hertz." Ron whispered. Everyone sniggered.

"Zeda, Buttercup."

Finally, it's over.

"We have some new students here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore announced.

AH! Will the torture never end?

"But none of these next students are first years. They will be studying as Seventh years and have all recently moved here from The United States of America. There, they had studied at the Salem Institute of Witchcraft."

"Brooke, Pennwick." A girl with chin length dark brown hair and eyes like black coffee walked up to the hat. She was wearing jeans and a nice tee. She was wearing imatation black converses (as in they're no really Converses). They were black. Wow. She's really confident for someone with a name like Pennwick.

The hat thought for a long while before yelling _"Hufflepuff!"_ Pennwick got up, looking disappointed.

"Ralkin, Kiara." Kiara had shoulder length dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She was pretty tall and was wearing a football (british aka soccer) jersey and a pair of football shorts that said "Roo" on them. Weird. It was really weird because she was also wearing multi colored Roos.

A second after the hat touched her head it yelled, _"Gryffindor." _Kiara looked really happy and ran up to our table. She sat down between Ginny and me.

Yeah! A person for us.

"Smith, Thisbe." Everyone had to block their eyes before they were burned out of their sockets. This girl had totally uneven blonde hair that looked like Lavendar did her haircut... hm, does she know Lavendar? Anyway, she had blue eyes and was wearing a bright pink skirt, a pale pink shirt and a brigt pink sweatshirt. She also had on grey and pink Etines. Wow. Bright!

The hat thought for a minute before saying, _"Gryffindor!"_ Thisbe happily skipped off to our table and plopped herself down between Harry and Ron.

"Guess what?" she said to Ron. She had a slightly high voice, and from what a could tell, she was _really_ hyper.

"What?" Ron asked curiously.

"YOUR MOM!" She yelled and then she and Kiara cracked up.

Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy. Weird. Moving on...

"Sun, Madeline." Madeline was tall. Her long hair was bright red, with blonde highlights and she had blue eyes. She was wearing a lavendar and light blue stirped Aeropostale shirt, and a nice pair of jeans.

The sorting hat thought for a few seconds before saying, _"Ravenclaw." _Madeline walked to the appropriate table looking surprised. All of the other new seventh years laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked Kiara.

"Sunny is the blondest redhead you'll ever meet." Kiara said in a slightly low voice.

"Oh, I doubt that..." I replied, flashing a sideglance at Ron... who was staring up at the ceiling.

"How do they get it so starry?"

"Maybe it's magic..." Thisbe replied.

Oh yeah... They'll make a good pair.

Dumbledore stood up. "Now that we're done with the sorting, We can get started with our feast."

Cough. A really loud cough.

"You forgot me." A girl said loudly.

"Ah... yes. I do believe we did. Your name is Lucifer Lions then? Just sit down on the stool."

**(A/N: Okay more theme music! Yeah! This time it's Bad to the Bone... but I gotta find out who wrote it. Hm... I'll put it in my author's note at the end of the chapter.)**

**QUE THEME MUSIC**

Lucifer looked exactly like me. She could have been my twin... okay maybe not my twin, but the bushy brown hair? The chocolate brown eyes? Freckles?

There was only one major difference from us.

Style sense.

She had on completely beat up, faded and slashed jeans. They were baggy and lose and so beaten up that one pant leg stopped mid-shin. Her hair looked like it had been hacked at by gardening sheers and, now that I think about it, it probably was. Her hot pink Happy Bunny Shirt said "I'm not mean, You're just Sissy." She had a fake leather jacket on over her shirt and she was wearing Converses. Real Converses, not imitation Converses like her friend. High tops. The only thing was one was an army camoflauge Converse and the other was hot pink. What is up with that!

She also had a candy ciggarette in her mouth. Weird.

This girl's starting to scare me.

**END THEME MUSIC**

Lucifer strode up to the front of the hall then turned around to face everyone **(A/N: For those of you who don't know, Lucifer means the Devil)**.

"My name is officially Lucy." She yelled. She had a voice that sounded like she was nice, but her attitude betrayed her. "You call me Lucifer, You die. Get it? Got it? Good."

She turned around and walked up to the hat. McGonnagall lifted it up and she sat under it.

The hat was still inches off her head when it made it's decision.

"_Slytherin."_

Well, no shock there.

Thisbe and Kiara snorted.

"Okay, I'll bite." Harry said. "What's so funny this time?"

"Lucy always does the bad girl act when she goes some place new. By tomorrow morning she'll be your best friend. You know she's really good at that... making friends. She'll probably bridge any gap..." Kiara explained **(A/N: Did I just make that character sound perfect or what? Sorry I didn't mean to... :-() hey he has a mouth! Yeah!)**.

"But, she's in Slytherin." Dean replied.

"So? A house has never changed Lucy." Thisbe said.

_**First Perosn (Draco):**_

Lucy was coming towards our table.

More importantly, she was coming towards _me._

You know, she is kind of cute in a bad-girl way. And we all know how much I like bad girls... Hehe. This could be fun.

Lucy plopped herself down between me and Pansy. Touche. Be my guest, as long as I don't have to sit next to Pansy the leech.

"Hey," Lucy said, "I'm Lucy. Lucy Lions."

"And I'm Draco. Draco Malfoy. Slytherin extrodinare. If you need any help with school or the house or anything, really, just ask me."

"Thanks, Draco. So is she your girlfriend?" Lucy replied, nodding her head to Pansy.

Pansy was just about to say yes when I replied, "NO! I'm single."

Hopefully not for long...

"Really..." Lucy said.

_**Third Person:**_

Well, the feast went by pretty quickly after that. What with Ron shoveling down food, Harry eating and looking at Ron in amazement and Hermione picking at her food whil staring at both of them wondering 'how can anyone eat food that fast?'

Lucy and Draco kept talking throughout the rest of the feast... and, about what? You'll have to find out in the next chapter.

Shortly after the feast, Professor Dumbledore gathered the Head Boy and Girl, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, and gave them a briefing...

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

Dumbledore called us up to the teacher's table.

"Well, you two are some of thebrightest students to come through here for a long time. Therefore, normally we would completely weigh you down with responsibilities to give the other students a chance. However I have a feeling that you will be rather distracted by the new Hogwarts Idol anyways, so all you have to plan is the balls, the Hogwarts Idol parties and the whole entire set of Hogwarts Idol. Havve fun! Oh, and your Common Rooms and Dormitories are located through the door off the side of the hall," he gestured towards the door that the Champions walked through in our fourth year, "and through the portrait of the theater. Talk to the actors and actresses to make a pasword."

After that, Dumbledore headed off towards his office.

"Well, at least we won't be weighed down..." Draco commented sarcastically.

Hehe...

"We should go check out the Commons, shouldn't we?"

I pushed past im before he could answer and went through the indicated door.

Well, at least it's secluded... but I don't like the idea of going past Snape to get to my room... or the fact that he knows where I sleep... Ew... bad thoughts...

The portrait was of a very pretty stage with red curtains and very nice, tan polished wood. In the center of the stage was a girl with bushy brown hair and a boy with blonde hair. Ew...

"So what should the password be?" asked Draco looking disgusted.

"How about 'the head girl kicks ass'? That sounds apropriate."

"No. Dumbledore would eventually hear the password and we'd have to explain. How about 'the head boy kicks butt'? It's so much better."

"No. How about 'the head girl and boy kick butt'? Is that okay with you?"

"I guess, but I don't like the part about you kicking butt. Wait. Whose butt?"

"Harry's, Ron's, your's, EVERYBODY'S!" Hehe. I kick butt!

"You're scaring me."

"I tend to do that to people. Anyway, our password is the 'the head girl..."

Cough.

"...and boy kick butt."

The portrait swung open and we stepped into our new common room.

There was only one word that could describe it.

"Wow."

**A/N: So how did everyone like that? A bit less funny than the last two chapters? If it is I'm sorry. I'd like to say, though, that I wrote the sorting hat's song. And wasn't it crappy? Ok, well leave a review and I'll get back to you! I love everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I was so pumped about those first 14 reviews and I still haven't gotten a bad review for that chapter yet! I love every review that came after those first 14 too! I LOVE THIS! It's my most popular story.**

**Anyways that chapter was 2695 words.**

**How do you like the new characters. Let's see if anyone can guess which one is me. There all based on me and my friends.**

**If anyone was wondering Hermione's new personality is based on a combination of me and all of my friends, and the average teenage girl, because, let me tell you, none of us are in any way, average.**

**Review Feedback:**

**alBBie: Sorry about the choice in bands! There will probably be some more of those bands but, tell me which bands you like and I will work them in. lol. My brother loves that joke. Any time our family is just hanging out we say "One time, at band camp..." It's hysterical... Thanks for reviewing!**

**A League of Their Own Fan: Thanks! I hope this was soon enough. Three days. Two days of writing this chapter. Thanks a buch for reviewing!**

**CandyCoveredLove: Thank you so much! I'm so glad this story is such a hit! Only two chapters and 30 reviews! Wow! I hope you liked this new chapter!**

**Oh Girl: Thanks! I love this. My brother thinks I'm the least funniest person in the world and everyone keeps telling me how much they've been cracking up! I hoped you liked those songs! I did them by memory... Thanks a million for reviewing for this story!**

**MCR: Thanks so much! I got someone to reconsider a weird and different Hermione! Awesome!**

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**VampireHelsing: Thanks! Is this good enough to satisfy you?**

**Kiara Ralkin: Well Kiara, this is before school starts and you are in this chapter... yeah! How do you like my character? Okay all you've got to do is email me your new chapters before you post them. My email is Talk to you soon! Bye!**

**melmit-hankercheif: I'm so glad you checked this story out, too! Yeah I love it when characters are out of character for a reason. If not it seems kind of weird... But I'm weird anyways. Aussieland, cool. I'm so glad you like the mind span thing. I was afraid some people would think it was childish, but I guess not. The mindspan thing is totally based on me. And the draco's cute thing. Guess which new character I am! BTW, nice penname.**

**The Gryffindor Drummer: Thanks a million for reviewing and the compliment! I hope this was son enough...**

**CherryIzzy: Everyone seems to like the song part... and can you believe I was sitting on my bunk bed at camp, at night writing that? I had a sudden inspiration! Thanks so much! Everyone at my school uses the word discombobulated and it was in a comic strip once. Anyway, It's a great word, and I'm glad you like the story!**

**Draco's-naughty-lil-girl: Thanks! I just hope you keep reading! I love your pen name!**

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**Craziest Good Charlotte Fan: Thank you so much! You really seem to like it! You got that line off of didn't you? I read that thing. Yeah Good Charlotte does kick butt.**

**Whocares: lol! Hehe... anyway, thanks so much! I hope you like this chapter!**

**Craziweirdo: I know what you mean... everyone in that room is stupid.. hehe! I gotta go bye! Thanks a bunch!**

**IN THIS REVIEW TELL ME WHICH CHARACTER YOU THINK IS BASED ON ME! MOST OF THE CHARACTERS LOOK LIKE WHO THEY'RE BASED ON!**

**Now...  
**

**R**

**E**

**V  
I  
E  
W**

**l**

**U**

**l**

**U**

**l**

**U**

**l**

**U**

**Cute Smileys! lol.**


	4. Chapter IV: Down With Deathmunchers

**Hogwarts Idol**

**By hedwigmail**

A/N: I know a bit longer in between posts but hey it's the school year now. Anyway, I made the school soccer team (something I did not think I could do) and I'm going to try out for the musical (Cinderella :Gag:) soon and I hope to get into that. BTW, did I mention that soccer meets every weekday afternoon for 2 hours? Pure Insanity!

**I totally forgot to do a disclaimer in my past few chapters, so here it is:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Harry Potter! Notta. Zip. N/A. You get my drift... Anyway, I also have to use a disclaimer for the songs I used in the chapter before the last chapter so here are the songs I don't own:**

Hey Ya! By OutKast 

**Rich Girl By Gwen Stefani**

**1985 By Bowling For Soup**

**Boulevard of Broken Dreams By Green Day**

**This Love By Maroon 5**

**Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne**

**Okay, Now On with the story!**

**Previously on HI:**

"**No. How about 'the head girl and boy kick butt'? Is that okay with you?"**

"**I guess, but I don't like the part about you kicking butt. Wait. Whose butt?"**

"**Harry's, Ron's, your's, EVERYBODY'S!" Hehe. I kick butt!**

"**You're scaring me."**

"**I tend to do that to people. Anyway, our password is the 'the head girl..."**

**Cough.**

"**...and boy kick butt."**

**The portrait swung open and we stepped into our new common room. **

**There was only one word that could describe it.**

"**Wow."**

**Chapter IV: Down With Deathmunchers**

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

**The Common Room was amazing. Think Slytherin and Gryffindor Common Room's put together and on modernized steroids; but here the steroids aren't a bad thing and actually increase the value and quality of this glorious thing!**

**I could die.**

**In fact I think I will.**

**And with that, I fell into a heap, on the floor.**

"**Mudblood? Are you okay?"**

"**No. I'm dyeing."**

"**Um... Okay... What should I do?"**

"**I dunno... Get away. LET ME DIE!" That's right you evil little deathmuncher. Did I just say deathmuncher?**

**Nope.**

**I didn't say deathmuncher. I thought it. Hehe. So I still sound perfectly cool.**

"**Hm. Coming from a Gryffindor, that sounds oddly appealing..." Draco replies with a really, really handsome smug smile on his face...**

**Hold the phone. Why am I thinking of how hot he is if he's perfectly will to let me die! Son of a bi-**

"**Oh. Wait a second. If I let you die I'd have to plan everything by myself, wouldn't I? Merlin, that would suck. Okay, so you can't die or else I would be stuck with a lot of work, and that's not right cuz you're the one who's supposed to be doing all the work." God. What is he so high on that he thinks he's gonna get away with that?**

"**Was that an insult or a compliment?"**

**Draco shrugged and retaliated, "Don't know. Don't care. Night." With that, he started walking towards the modern looking spiral staircase in the middle (yes, middle) of the room.**

**What the heck is anything modern doing in Hogwarts?**

**Holy crap.**

**The whole room is modern!**

**Wait...**

**How did I not notice that when I was saying how beautiful it was?**

**Wow. I'm really stupid. Like Ron-level stupid.**

"**Hello? HELLO? GRANGER? CAN - YOU - HEAR - ME?" Draco... No, Malfoy... Aw, screw it. As long as I don't call him a pet name or deathmuncher, I'll get out of this scar (and/or boil) free.**

**Anyway, Draco was standing halfway up the staircase and looking down at me.**

"**WHAT?" I yelled back. That boy really has to control his temper. God! He'll kill someone sooner or later.**

**Oh wait.**

**He's already gonna do that anyway.**

"**ARE YOU COMING?" We should all take a moment right now and be really glad that no one lives near us! We'd be killed, and their eardrums will be blown ten times a day.**

"**WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO WITHOUT ME?"**

"**THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS!"**

"**OKAY. BUT, WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?"**

"**I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE YOU'RE AN EVIL LITTLE, STUPID MUDBLOOD?"**

"**WAIT, WHAT? OH NEVER MIND. WE SHOULD STOP!"**

"**STOP WHAT?"**

"**YELLING!"**

"**YOU FIRST!"**

"**WHY ME? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED IT!"**

"**BECAUSE YOU'RE THE 'SMART ONE' AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO STOP!"**

"**THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME AND STOP YELLING!"**

"**BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO!"**

"**FINE! THEN I WON'T GO UP THERE UNTIL YOU STOP YELLING!"**

"**OH, COME ON, PLEASE GRANGER? I'M HAVING TROUBLE!"**

"**WHAT, YOU CAN'T GO UP THE STAIRS?"**

"**YES AND NO."**

"**God you're a loser. Okay I'll come." (A/N: I am fully aware of how they just sounded like five-year-olds. That's partially because I stink at writing arguments (don't worry, I'll try to get better) and partially because I'm in the middle of reading a story in which, all the sixth years, get turned into five year olds. That includes Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco. So, I'm sorry for how lame that might have just sounded. If you don't think it sounded lame, then yay for you.)**

**So I took the last few steps across the Picasso-like carpet (yes I said Picasso, as in discombobulated eyes; more than two; and ears and noses and everything! Too - many - body - parts.) and trudged up the stairs to where Draco was standing.**

**There seemed to be a sign in front of him, at about the level of his hips. The sign was on a thick, gold chain that made a barrier that neither could walk through. Unfortunately, Draco was currently standing in front of the sign so I couldn't see what it said.**

"**Malfoy," YES! "Move your fat arse."**

"**Excuse me? My arse is not fat. My arse is wonderfully perfect, thank you very much."**

"**Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy. You just keep thinking that. Unfortunately, your," Air quotes please, "'Wonderful Arse,'" Thank you very much, "Is in my way so MOVE IT!" Hehe. I scared him again. Look, he's cowering.**

**Draco slowly backed his "breathtaking hinnie" (A/N: I think some of you guys are probably like "Why the heck is hedwigmail talking about butts when she should be working on the plot?" Well the answer is we all need some humor and somehow, it just ended up talking about butts, so whatever. Plus that's my big bro's favorite line "breathtaking hinnie." So I had to put it in when I started talking about butts. Plus I think this is going to be a REALLY long story. Who's with me!) out of my way and slid a bit down the railing so I could move up and read the sign. Which read:**

_**Do not cross this point until you two have talked and talked and got to know each other. Only then will this chain disappear, and you can retire.**_

**Okay, that's just weird.**

"**So, what do you propose we do, Malfoy?"**

"**Um... Talk? I know. I'll tell you about my childhood. Well, you see, when I was born, there were a few complications because I looked nothing like my mother. So, my mother started wondering 'Could Lucius have cheated on me-'"**

"**Not that I don't find this interesting but- Wait a second. Your _mom_ thought that your _dad_ might have cheated on her with someone else and that you might not be _her _son?"**

"**Yeah, that's right."**

"**But, the _mother_ has the baby, not the father. How could you _not_ be her son?"**

"**Well it could have been... Oh, wait. You're right."**

"**You bet I am. Anyway, why were you about to spill your soul to me. Don't you hate me?" Because I know I don't hate you.**

**Crap!**

"**Um... well... I... uh... Why did you interrupt me?"**

"**What? Oh. I figured out a way to get over this."**

"**Really? Then do it."**

"**Okay, back up."**

**Shrugging, the hott Slytherin backed up.**

"**One, two, three." I counted before grabbed the railings on either side of me and launched myself over the chain, where I promptly fell into a heap on the stairs.**

**Ow, my butt.**

"**Oh, look!" Draco said. "The chain's just hooked to the wall. There we go." And, of course, Draco detaches the chain from the wall and steps over me on his way upstairs.**

**After rubbing my injured buttocks (hehe, buttocks. I like that word) I proceeded up to my new room.**

**As I finished climbing all 260 steps of the staircase (We have a REALLY tall ceiling, thank you very much!) I headed to left to a sign that said "HEAD GIRL'S ROOM." One the right the sign read "HEAD BOY'S ROOM."**

**That's not nice.**

**It seems the Heads of Houses or whoever decorated this place don't like us very much because, in between my room and deathmunch's room was a doorway with a sign that read "For The Complete Idiots That Have No Idea What This Room Could Be, It's A BATHROOM."**

**Exiting from under that sign was a steamy, damp looking Draco. Thank you, god of all showers, for making Draco take one!**

**Okay, that just sounded really weird.**

**I know there's a problem when I sound weird in my own head... Oh well...**

**Oops. This is the part where we're supposed to say Good night.**

**I just have to remember. Malfoy not Deathmunch.**

"**Hi Granger. Does your arse still hurt?"**

**Draco not Deathmunch.**

"**Waddaya think you evil little-," I can't think of an insult! Damn! "Um... Blonde!"**

**Draco not Deathmunch.**

"**Um... okay. Whatever floats your boat. Night Mudblood."**

**Draco not Deathmunch.**

"**Night Deathmunch."**

**Shit.**

**A/N: Sorry guys! That was my shortest chapter yet. Only 1337 words. It would have been longer, but I would have had to go into the next section, and that would have made the chapter too long. So, I'll just make that next chapter!**

**Sorry if this chapter was sort of off, as in humor. I'm having friendship problems with the girl who helped me with the plot for this story.**

**Now, I bet most of you are wondering why the heck that chapter was even there, because it had almost nothing to do with the plot.**

**Well, you're right. I just needed a way to introduce the common room. There was going to originally be more to this chapter, and it was going to be a much bigger part of the plot, but oh well.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE! IF YOU LIKE MY STORY CHECK OUT THE STORY I MADE ON MY JOINT ACCOUNT WITH KIARA RALKINS (SHE REVIEWS THIS STORY) OUR PEN NAME IS Super Fenwik and Weirdo AND OUR STORIES ARE LISTED AT READ IT! It's Really funny... most of it was Kiara's Idea.**

**Now for the Reviewer Feedback, I think of reviews like Fan/Hate mail so this section is going to be called Fan Mail Fun!**

**Fan Mail Fun:**

**IamnotafreakingGOTH: You seem to have dived head first into ALL of my stories! Wow. I am really flattered. I've also noticed that I ended up on some of your favorites and alert lists! Thank you so much for liking my writing! And thank you even more for reviewing!**

**Michelle Felton: Well, here's more. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for taking time out of your life and reading this!**

**CherryIzzy: OMG. You caught me:Empties trunk and grabs all the drugs: You'll never catch me:Laughs evilly before calming down: Okay. Woah. Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoy this story!**

**xesha: Thanks! I always love to get new readers! I hope you like this chapter!**

**Hermione Kat: Hey Adriana. How's school? Thanks for reading my story! If you ever need any fanfic help, you can count on me!**

**alBBie: Sorry for the lack of Newbie's in this chapter, but I promise they will be a big part of the next one! Thanks about Lucifer (she's me! Different name though) she's one of my favorite characters, and not just because she's me. I just like writing weird people, so I have a feeling this story is going to be fun to write!**

**A League Of Their Own Fan: Here's the next chapter, I hope it lived up to expectations! Thanks a million for reviewing!**

**Some Random Reviewer: First of all, I love your pen name! Thanks for the compliment! I told my friends about the lying in pieces on the floor thing and they just looked at me funny. I'm glad it… um… amused you. I love it when reviewers are happy! Thanks so much for reading this story!**

**MCR: I hope you had an extra pair of underwear and pants handy, just incase you really did wet yourself! Ironically, I'm a brunette too, so the blonde thing is the same for me as it is for you. Thanks for the hugs and the reviews!**

**gotomon182: I hope this was a decent chapter for you. Most of it was trying for pathetic humor, so it might not be that good. Thanks for using your time to read my story!**

**reallynotfaith: Sorry, it probably wasn't as soon as you would have liked it and I can't dish on Hermione because it would ruin the story! Sorry! But despite me disappointing you, I hope you like the chapter and review again!**

**Kiara Ralkin: I know you're mad at me (duh to me) and I doubt you'll even be reading this. You'll be a big character still and I'm not moving you out of this story, even if you ask me (which I doubt you will). A lot of the next chapter will be about us. I'm only somewhat sorry about what I said. I believe you're allowed to be mad at me but what you did was sort of extreme.**

Oh Girl: I'm pretty sure I read your story, if not tell me so in the review! That blonde part seemed to be everyone's favorite part. I do the same thing (daydreaming about Harry) except mine is about Draco; if you haven't already noticed from this story! The Gryffindor Drummer: Yeah! I want my medal:looks around: Where's my medal? Just Kidding. Say hi to the happy little bunni for me! Thanks for reviewing! 

**Vampirehelsing: Okay, Thanks! Here's more! I hope you like it! Thanks you so much so reviewing! Bye.**

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl: I'm done Hurrying! For now at least. Lucifer is me. She'll just be really confusing eventually. Like me. Except I confuse myself more than I confuse other people. Hm…**

**Thanks For Reviewing!**

**kaziweirdo: Weird is my middle name. See: Hedwig weird mail. Just kidding. Hehe. Anywho, Lucy wasn't looking at Hermione, she looks like Hermione. I'm so glad you "loved" it! Thank you so much for being the first reviewer for this chapter! Yeah you!**

**GIVE ME AN R!**

**R!**

**GIVE ME AN E!**

**E!**

**GIVE ME A V!**

**V!**

**GIVE ME AN I!**

**I!**

**GIVE ME AN E!**

**E!**

**GIVE ME A W!**

**W!**

**WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?**

**FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN'T SPELL, OR READ, IT SPELLS REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**Yeah!**


	5. Chapter V: Meet the Gang

**Hogwarts Idol**

**By hedwigmail**

**A/N: Hi everybody! It's the weekend after my last update and I'm going to try to get this out A.S.A.P. I hope that you all know that you can email me with suggestions and/or questions and I will be completely open, but I'm not going to ruin the story! Gawsh (Napoleon Dynamite Spelling. Emphasis on the "awsh").**

**BTW: EVERYONE! I HAVE A C2 CALLED DRACO AND HERMIONE ROMANCES, YOU ALL SHOULD CHECK IT OUT! A LOT OF LONG, GOOD STORIES THAT ARE REALLY INTERESTING! ALSO LOOKING FOR C2 STAFF! REPLY IN THE REVIEW OR EMAIL ME! Plus it will give you something to do while waiting for me to update... hehe.**

**A/N 2: Wow... now it's more like 5 months since I updated... uh... sorry? DON'T KILL ME! I STILL LOVE MY REVIEWERS! Just not _that_ way... um... I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY! Forgive me?**

**Disclaimer: Okay, this is a disclaimer saying that I don't own Harry Potter, Dobby, Winky, the song this is a parody of, or any songs that I use here. I actually saw the disclaimer below on someone else's story and I thought it was the best disclaimer ever. If I ever remember whose story it was, I'll post it. So, basically this is a disclaimer saying that I don't own anything, including the disclaimer. BTW the song this is a parody of it Respect by Aretha Franklin:**

**DOBBY: Harry Potter!**

**WINKY: Oh!**

**DOBBY: I don't own him!**

**WINKY: Oh!**

**DOBBY: The characters I use!**

**WINKY: Oh!**

**DOBBY: I don't own them!**

**WINKY: Oh!**

**DOBBY: And all I'm asking!**

**WINKY: Oh!**

**DOBBY: Is please don't sue!**

**WINKY: Don't sue!**

**DOBBY: Yeah, yeah!**

**WINKY: Don't sue!**

**DOBBY: Yeah, yeah!**

**WINKY: Don't sue!**

**DOBBY: Yeah, yeah!**

**WINKY: Don't sue!**

**DOBBY: Yeah, yeah!**

**WINKY: Don't Sue!**

**DOBBY: D-O-N-T S-U-E, Please J. K. don't sue me! D-O-N-T S-U-E, I don't have that money! Oh!**

**WINKY: She said "Don't Sue, Don't Sue, Don't sue." She said, "Don't Sue, Don't Sue, Don't sue!"**

**Previously On HI:**

Exiting from under that sign was a steamy, damp looking Draco. Thank you, god of all showers, for making Draco take one!

Okay, that just sounded really weird.

I know there's a problem when I sound weird in my own head... Oh well...

Oops. This is the part where we're supposed to say Goodnight.

I just have to remember. Malfoy not Deathmunch.

"Hi Granger. Does your arse still hurt?"

Draco not Deathmunch.

"Waddaya think you evil little-," I can't think of an insult! Damn! "Um... Blonde!"

Draco not Deathmunch.

"Um... okay. Whatever floats your boat. Night Mudblood."

Draco not Deathmunch.

"Night Deathmunch."

Shit.

**Chapter V: Meet the Gang**

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

After waking up from the completely evil bed of sleep (I say evil because... well... I... um... I want to! And because it's so damn soft. It's like "I didn't know Serta could ship to Hogwarts!" I guess those sheep can fly... back to the evil story...) to walk into the hallway to find the equally evil, Draco Malfoy.

Equally evil, yet much hotter. Sorry sheep but there's no competition.

Now here's the choice; A: I face the evil Serta Sheep or B: I face the evil yet hott Draco Malfoy. Ah... decisions, decisions...

**A/N: For those of you who don't know what the heck I'm talking about, Serta is a kind of mattress and the Serta Sheep are their mascots. It's from an American Commercial. And if anyone's wondering how the heck Hermione would know about an American Commercial, let's just say she visited some distant cousins in the U.S. and they helped her edge towards her "new" self by getting her addicted to the TV.**

"Mudblood, why are you staring at my arse?"

Oh, shit. He's found my weakness.

"What ferret boy? Oh, that... I was... er... just imagining how it would look with a broom stuck in it." Oh snap.

Now that I think about it, a broom in your butt would really hurt. Remind me to restrain Harry and Ron next time they're holding a broom and are mad at Malfoy...

"Um... Okay... Why so violent today? And yesterday for that matter..."

"I don't know. I'm bored..." Oh crud. Did I just tell Dr- Malfoy something that's true? Oh god. "I mean, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!" There we go!

"Okay, then..." Malfoy said before muttering something about "mudbloods" and "mood swings."

Evil Son-of-a-death-eating-ferret bas... dweeb.

For some reason I have trouble calling hott people bast... idiots.

Not that I'm saying that Malfoy's hott or anything...

Okay so maybe just a little...

Oh well, I'll work on this during a free period.

Anywho, while I was contemplating Draco **(A/N::sigh:)** he managed to slip downstairs and through the portrait hole. Coward.

Woo-Hoo! Time for breakfast. The most important meal of the sucky-first-day-of-school day! YEAH!

Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy... Now that I got that bit of weirdness out of my system, we can proceed down to breakfast...

Do-do-do-do-do... hm... Walking is really boring...

I know I play 20 questions... with myself! Okay, the object is... a Draco.

:sighs:

"Okay, I'm ready!" I say aloud to myself.

"Hm, what could it be? Is it a noun?"

"Yes.

"Is it decomposable?

"Yes... What a weird word.

"I know, right? Hm, is it a person?

"Yep-er-doodles.

"Hm. Is it male?

"Yes.

"Is he alive?

"Yes.

"Do he go to Hogwarts?

"Yes.

"Is he younger than us?

"Nopes.

"Is he older than us?

"Nopes.

"So, he's our age..."

"Uh huh..."

"Oh, I know! Is he blonde?"

"Yeah."

"So, is he Draco Malfoy?"

"YES! How did you know?"

"Call woman's intuition. Or the fact that I... Me... You... We... can't get him off of our mind... s..."

"Sh... Someone will hear you...

"And about that woman's intuition... Why don't I have any?"

"Maybe your not a-" But as I said that to myself, I entered the Great Hall. I guess I'll never know what I might not be.

**A/N: Okay, I'm going to jump back and forth between Character PoV's. So just make sure you read every line and stay with me.**

_**First Person (Kiara Ralkins)**_

As I entered the Great Hall and sat down next to Ginny ('cause she's cool like that) I started talking to Harry and Ron about the available Quidditch positions.

"So let me get this straight. The only position that you have a definite player for is the Seeker? I guess I'll be seeing you at tryouts then."

"Whose coming to tryout for the what?" asks Hermione as she plops down to me.

"Your mom." said This (Thisbe Smith, the _real_ blonde) as she sat down.

"Do you even have any idea what we're talking about?" Ron snorted out as he looked up from behind the mountain of food that was currently falling off the edge of his plate.

"Nope."

"DON'T WORRY MR. CARROT! I'LL GET YOU OUT!" screamed Madeline Sun from her standing position at the Ravenclaw table.

"Well, it looks like Sunny has adjusted well..." I snicker before returning to my breakfast.

_**First Person (Madeline Sun):**_

**FIVE MINUTES EARLIER**

My God. I am NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER returning to the Ravenclaw common room again. Except of course to sleep, in between classes, to meet up with friends and to sleep of course.

Anyway, those freaking Ravenclaw "smartbutts" gave me a I.M. test.

Like _I _need a test to prove that I belong in Ravenclaw.

_Um... Sunny?_ said a little voice in the back of my head. _It's called an I.Q. test._

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

While I was "thinking" about my wonderful first night as a Ravenclaw (note the sarcasm), I absentmindedly piled a bunch of carrots on my plate and stabbed one with a fork before bringing it up for inspection.

"Oh My God." I said talking to the cutest little carrot ever. "YOU'RE ORANGE! Tell me, is it ever weird to be orange?"

"Well, It _does_ get kind of annoying to be made fun of by the other vegetables but, other than that orange is an all around swell color."

What the...

"Who said that!" I asked running my eyes down the table, "I know! It was Mr. Carrot! He must be a teeny, tiny, wittle human stuck on a vegetable! DON'T WORRY MR. CARROT! I'LL GET YOU OUT!"

Poor Mr. Carrot! He's so tiny and defenseless.

"Um... Sunny?" Of course, I turn around to see Lucy staring back at me with a bemused expression on her face. She seems to think that convincing me that there little miniature beings trapped on inanimate objects is funny.

"What's wrong with you! I thought that Mr. Carrot was in some serious danger!"

"Okay... Sunny, how about we take you over to the Gryffindor table to get some food. Preferably something that's not orange?"

"Alright..." I grumble, being lead grudgingly towards Kiara, This and some of their new friends.

_**Third Person:**_

When Sunny and Lucy arrived at the groups unofficial meeting grounds, Lucy launched into a detailed explanation about her new boyfriend.

"He's no Tom Felton, but he's a hott blonde one way or another."

"Who is he? Maybe we know him." Hermione asked looking up from her oatmeal and having a strange feeling of De Ja Vu at the words "hott blonde."

"According to him, everyone knows him. His name's Draco Malfoy."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Sunny, This, Pennwick and Kiara's mouths' simultaneously dropped.

"Him!" screeched Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus.

"You got the only remotely hott Slytherin!" screamed This (Thisbe), Wik (Pennwick), Kir (Kiara), Sunny (Madeline), Ginny and Hermione.

"Yep... to both of them. I think I need an asprin." Lucy replied happily and started to wonder out of the Hall.

"What's an aspirin?" asked Ron.

_**First Person (Hermione):**_

Soon Harry, Ron, Sunny, Kir, This, and I were standing out in the Entrance Hall, watching Lucy gulp down a rather large cup of water with that aspirin.

"So..." I said. Awkward silence. Why do so many of those happen when I'm around? "When is our first class?"

"I dunno... hopefully it isn't Divination." Harry whined. Oh... my... god... he seriously needs help on so many different levels. He had to save the world from Voldemort and here he whining about a whimpy little class just because the teacher's a wee bit insane and says he's going to die at any chance she gets. I mean come on! You have a creepy-ass snake guy shooting spells at you, actually _trying_ to kill you and if this teacher so much as mentions death, he goes haywire. Gosh... I always knew from day one that Harry was a problem child... hmm...

Back to classes discussion though... (Damn, I have to stop ranting...) "Yeah I would completely hate that..." Pipes up Sunny. Ah... she needs to quiet down, that was LOUD.

"Are you even in Divination?" Ron asks suspiciously. What's there to be suspicious about? So the girl's possibly in the most over rated, boring, and murderous class in the world. Big freaking deal.

"I'm gonna be. I heard one of the Ravencreeps saying something about the 'combination of perfume, potpourri, smoke and tea smells' being too 'distracting' to get any real work done. So, I say it sounds like a good class to sleep in."

Oh come on... "Shit. Why didn't I think of that?" What? "Why are you all looking at me like that? What did I do? What did I say? Do I have pancake stuck in my teeth? Did you all finally discover my addiction to heroin? WHAT!"

"You addicted to heroin?" Ron asks with pity and confusion in his voice. Mostly confusion, though.

Wow, he really needs to learn what sarcasm sounds like.

"Ron," said Lucy, "You are so clue less. In fact, you couldn't get a clue if it was clue mating season and you were standing in the middle of a field of horny clues covered in clue attraction spray while doing the clue mating dance."

"Oh snap. You got burned!" Okay, it's official. I am no longer the freakiest person in this group. That award needs to be shared by Lucy and Sunny.

"Um... Luc?"

"Yeah?"

"That was... scary. And random. But, mostly scary." Yeah, out of this group, I think I'll feel safest with Thisbe.

"Back on topic. We don't have classes today" That was Kiara. What a weird name... Her name makes word! Keys (Ki) are (ar) a (a)... hm... I need the rest of her name...

"Hey Kiara, what's your name?"

"Um... Kiara... That was random."

"No, your _full_ name (gosh). And why is it random?"

"Well, we (she gestures to the group... weirdo... hehe... I'm a hypocrite) were just talking about classes and you ask about my name. And it's Kiara Dora Ralkin."

Kiara Dora Ralkin... hm... Keys (Ki) are (ar) a (a) Dorsal (Dora Ral) fin (kin). "Your name doesn't make any sense. Keys are a dorsal fin?"

"Um... Okay then..." God! What's Lucy's problem? I was just stating the not so obvious. No need to get feisty...

"You know what?" Ki replied. "I'm just not gonna ask anymore..."

Pennwick (who'd been alternating back and forth between running around the group, talking, singing something about 'defying gravity,' hexing anyone who got in who way, and sometimes doing all at once) stopped short. "I'm bored... what are we going to do today?" she asked, before picking up with her previous activities.

"I don't know... hey, maybe we could hang out in the heads' commons!" Lucy exclaimed. That sounds cool. Getting out of my confined living space would be a good ide-... wait. I already live there! DAMN IT!

"I could probably make a big screen TV!" I said hoping that they would understand what that was. They all seemed to know, so three of us (Me, This and Ki) started to head down to the commons while Luc and Penn grabbed some movies. Harry and Ron left once we informed them that inevitably, at some point in time, we would watch a chick flick. Ron actually seemed kind of interested, but Harry dragged him away for fear of being pulled in.

I ran up to the Serta sheep lair (formerly known as my bedroom) to grab my knitting, before running back down to find Luc and Penn back and waiting impatiently. We popped in Luc's DVD (which turned out to be The Phantom of the Opera) in first and settled in. Once we were about halfway through it, all of us were crying all over the pillows. At this opportune moment, Draco walked in.

"Hello girls," he said, mostly to his girl friend. Upon seeing us all weeping, he stopped in his tracks. "Are you watching a chick flick?" he asked. There was a hint of fear in his voice betraying his outward look of ease.

"No..." Luc sniffed. Draco visibly relaxed. "We're watching the... Phantom of the Opera!" she cried, before wailing again.

"What's so bad about that?" Draco asked cautiously. Careful, Malfoy, you're walking on eggshells...

"It's Emmy Rossum, the main character... she's just... too... pretty! I'm SO ugly!" Luc screamed before the whole group relapsed into sobs. Draco cautiously backtracked, seemingly deciding that even the portrait was better company than that of depressed, overemotional teenage girls with really low self-esteem.

Wow... he's probably right. Crap! Why am I suddenly betraying my race for Malfoy? MALFOY! Of all people! I need something alcoholic...

Once Draco was gone for good and we had finished watching the Phantom of the Opera (which is a really good movie by the way... lots of death... and singing... you really can't go wrong when you have death and singing) we watched Wik's movie, which was a bootleg of her favorite Broadway musical, Wicked. What is with this group and musicals? Maybe their just crazy... oh wait. I already knew that...

After watching that, we all just sat around being bored, so Luc and I knitted. She (for some reason) was making a slytherin scarf. Why, I don't know, because they're on sale for 15 galleons at the Hogwarts Campus Store, but, then again, we've already established that she's crazy...

Eventually, out of sheer boredom, Sunny ran to the Ravenclaw commons to get another DVD, which was yet another musical, RENT.

By the time that was over, we were crying our eyes out and it was dinnertime. So, we emerged from the bat cave (hehe... bat cave) and went to dinner before going our separate ways for the night.

I returned to the heads' commons (once more, do I have to mention the fact that Snape knows where I sleep? That is so wrong on so many levels...) to find Draco making his way up the stairs, clad only in bubblewrap... uh... I mean a towel (my mind's still stuck on Rent... so sue me).

Sigh... I love it when Draco showers... it just brightens the world.

And that sounded cheesy...

Whatever. As long as I get to see Draco after a shower every day, I can easily get used to this whole "living next to the ferretboy" thing.

- That random quote was from _The Legend of Guilly Granger_ by Priah. Sorry if that was just too random.

**A/N: Okay, again I'm so sorry that this took so long. I know you're all waiting for some sort of plot (yes this will have a plot. Hard to believe, no?) so, I'm going to make THE FIRST ROUND OF AUDITIONS NEXT CHAPTER! So, be psyched! Cuz I know I am (and believe me, my life is boring right now...). That means I need random songs for people to sing... any ideas?**

**Review Feedback:**

**alBBie: Yay weird people! Sorry for the short chapters… I just make sure they're at least 1500 words, and after that, I stop where it feels right. And I also apologize for the crazy-ness (I thought hectic-ness was even further away from the English language, so… yeah) of Hermione's thought process. Unfortuanately, you'll have to wait a while for that… think somewhere between top 24 and top 12 for it to start… SORRY! Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**-Broken Black Rose-: Lol… sorry about that! Thanks so much for the compliment and Thanks for reviewing first! YAY!**

**CherryIzzy: Haha… your review made me laugh! Thanks! tried soon, and look how it turned out! Ah! I'm sorry! Thanks for reviewing, again!**

**Da-manta-ray: Crap! I guess this means I'm as good as dead, doesn't it? When will your jaws of death come for me? Lol. DON'T KILL ME! Please tell me your not serious! Hehe… Thanks for reviewing!**

**iamnotafreakingGOTH: Oops… sorry… hope you recover. Do tell me if this results in breathing problems or something… Actually, don't… Then I might have to pay hospital bills… hehehe. Of course it's going to be a long story! Haven't you noticed? 5 chapters and we still haven't gotten to Auditions! Hehe! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Kiara Ralkin: Hi KT, if you read this. So, how do you like the characters? Your character? I hope it's good… There won't be a chapter about anyone in the group fighting… unless it's me and Hermione, and that'll just be over Draco… hehehe! Thanks for reviewing, I'll see you later… bye!**

**macaday me a nut: Hehe. Is there anyone in this world who can resist a good blonde joke? Probably not. Sorry, that just came to my mind with the whole "blonde insult" thing. I use the "floats your boat" thing a lot too! One more thing we have in common… tehehe. I'm officially a nut! YAY! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Oh Girl: hahahaha thanks! I don't really get the "legend part, but okay… Thanks a million for reviewing!**

**Phantasmagoria Vapor: Yay fillers! Hehe. Hold your horses, honey! I'm guessing I'll be typing as fast as I can after this! Lol… honey… Thanks for reviewing!**

**Shelb: Updated! Thanks for the compliment and Thanks for reviewing!**

**Some Random Reviewer: Of course I appreciate! If I can make someone laugh that hard, I must be doing something right… of at least I was. Hope you like this chapter! Hehe, Hermione is a great character to twist, if only just to see the world's reaction ; ) ! Stupid people are fun to write, and fun to hang out with (I hope… I'm one). Thanks! And thanks a bunch for reviewing! Wow, I just reread one of your earlier comments. Wow, etnies and converse? That's breaking stereotypes while you walk (hehehe, gotta love the converse!). I don't read much Shakespeare, I just found that in another fanfic ( I think it was called Flames of Ecstasy by Priah) and liked the name (or at least the way I pronounce it; Th-is-bee). Well… bye again, and thanks… again!**

**tea-and-cake-or-death: Wow, people have the weirdest, but funniest pen names here! Or do they all just show up to read my story… hm… Whatever. Weird people (and pen names) rock. The "your mom" thing will probably come into play, thanks for the quote! Thanks for reviewing, too!**

**.x.X.x. xesha .x.X.x.: Very cool looking pen name, by the way. You might want to get used to strange for this story… there will be strange people, places, foods, stuffed animals (don't ask), coins, and (of course) SONGS!  THANKS FOR REVIEWING!**

**And A Very Important Poll:**

**WHOSE AUDITIONS DO YOU WANT TO SEE/HEAR THE MOST?**

**-GRYFFINDOR (THE TRIO, KIARA AND THISBE PLUS OTHERS)**

**-HUFFLEPUFF (WIK AND OTHERS)**

**-RAVENCLAW (SUNNY AND OTHERS)**

**-SLYTHERIN (DRACO, LUC AND OTHERS)**

**Please review? You all know how much I love it when you do...**


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